Editor: How to reconcile when facing setbacks and junctions in life? Xia Yifen, the well-known host of the financial program, has suffered many years of loss of sorrow and collapsed at one point, which is a saying, "I will meet again after a long time in life", which gives her the power to survive. Now she doesn't say she "goes out", but she only uses her experience to devote herself to charity, encourages people to cherish each other, and also makes "advanced deployment" in financial and life planning. She began to learn to be relaxed and no longer demand perfection in everything, and to truly live for herself.
At the age of 50, Xia Weifen had a serious accident. She had a fractured right thigh and had to lie in the hospital for a month before she got out of bed. After more than half a year of rehabilitation, she recovered to walk with her cane. However, during the trip, her legs broke again. "I wanted to take pictures of my friend at that time, but as soon as I stood up, I heard a "pop" sound, and then I saw a piece of steel bell that was worn out from my thigh."
Going forward for another five years, she lost her favorite little son in another accident.
"Many people's lives are an expected and linear development, graduation, marriage and having children, and success in their careers. The first half of their lives was a little hard, but the second half of their children slowly returned to their sweetness." Xia Weifen continued, "But my middle age was suddenly mixed with the ups and downs. I don't know what it tasted." The unresolved tragedy made it naturally exist
From a reporter who ran the financial line, to a famous speaker and host in financial programs, they also became a marketing writer who published books and shared financial experiences, but in the face of the pain of losing children, all the achievements in the past cannot be filled.
The year when my little son passed away unexpectedly, Xia Weifen wrote a series of articles on his blog, titled "Hard-paining Days", recording those heart-wrenching moments:
"The little angel, God's arrangements or the lessons given by God, there is no word to comfort me, because all I want to be an ordinary mother." "I often travel between 'normal' and 'grace'. When I think I can be like a normal person, I find that the emotions are like the dehumidifier at home, and I don't know what it means to be full, once I'm full , and then entered the extreme sadness of the ejaculation. "
"I think I am sensitive to numbers. I buy fruits as much as 4 times as 4 times as 4 times as 4 times as 4, and traveling is "2 big and 2 small", and a family of 4 is not much or too many. Now suddenly a treasure is missing. , it takes 3 times as many fruits to buy, and the clothes are no longer large or small. The ones that are less are lost, and they cannot be forgotten, until they are forever. "
Recalling these days, in addition to facing the ever-in-comfortable tragedy in my heart, the caring and inquiry of my friends around me is also difficult to bear. "When others come and ask "Are you okay?", what should I say: I'm not good? That's just a waste." Xia Weifen had to hide back to school to study EMBA and study. In a simple environment, she could temporarily forget too many questions in life that could not be answered.
"I think the hardest thing in humans is to live and die. My father passed away from cancer at the age of 26, his grandmother who loved us the most the next year passed away, and my younger brother left because of the car at the age of 31. But no matter how many times it happened, that pain is new, and you will never be able to get used to it. Now I feel that when I miss it, I cry and feel sad and sad." Xia Weifen said quietly, with a hint of unhidden sadness.
What is more important to promote the establishment of a lord during his lifetime than to property is that lovewas originally a godless Xia Weifen, and later he was invited by his friends to attend church activities or Buddhist lectures. Finally she heard a word that comforted her: "All the long separations in the world will reunite." "Many beliefs are saying: the passing of life does not mean that everything is over. One day we will meet again in a certain world. Thinking of this way, I have more power to live."
She also used to take a look at Haruki Murakami's "The Forest of Norway" The sentence: "Death is not the opposite form of life, but a part of it." "So take good care of yourself and do something intentional, because one day we will reunite with the people we love."
Xia Weifen began to be invited to speak in a public welfare group event, encouraged the audience with his experience, and seemed to slowly reorganize his body and mind during the sharing process. "When I realized that I had the strength to help so many people, it seemed to be comforting myself." At the end of 2019, she held a free lecture with real estate, insurance providers and lawyers, encouraging everyone to set up a promise during their lifetime, not just for their own health. After-the-life events were made (how to continue to inherit the property, how to arrange insurance beneficiaries, etc.), and thus expressing love and feelings for the family, among the 200 listeners who participated in that day, including Xia Weifen, nearly 150 people completed their appointments.
"Like my own family, the property distribution rules are only part of it. The important thing is to tell my children and family how much I love them. Don't be too sad after I am gone. Take good care of myself and just think about me. Oh, there is also my family that I have to hang out with my paintings!"
Xia Yifen laughed and said that day she and the lawyer of the testimonial completed their own family separately, "The result is to be remembered. I wanted to cry without a long journey, so I had to exchange my thoughts on the other party's remembrance, but I still cried." But the atmosphere at the scene was warmer than tragedy. After the event ended, everyone was given a rose, "because the flowers will wither, but the fragrance will be remembered."
"Everyone often avoids talking about death. In fact, everything we do, such as telling friends about tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, or the date of the ceremony, is surpassing death.. How do you know that you won’t suddenly encounter an accident the next moment? "Xia Weifen's eyes suddenly lit up and she said: Setting up a good fortune first is the advance deployment of life.
Legs twice a year Rethink the meaning of living: Be rebelliousIf you talk about the death of your life, let Xia Weifen learn how to face death directly, then the big car she encountered at the age of 50 made her rethink: What is the most important thing in life?
Recalling that since she was 50 years old, she has been in the hospital bed and in the middle of rehabilitation for more than four years, Xia Weifen smiled helplessly: "Roar, it's really awesome. Sometimes I don't know why God wants me to bear so much." She lies in the hospital bed to sitting in a wheelchair, and then switches her crutches from three feet to single feet. As a result, she has to do it all over again because of her legs being cut off twice. "I think that process was simple and like a stalk."
But this period of local days now seems like a joke from Xia Yifen: "I had nothing to do when I was rejuvenating, just look at the time of "The Legend of Zhen Huan". Once, the rejuvenating teacher asked me: Which foot is your "ㄐㄧㄢˋ" foot? I thought to myself, I can't get rid of this right foot for so long, and "foot" is of course it! I realized later that he was talking about "foot" and it is yes. I have no problem with my computer."
When I first got my legs broken, Xia Yifen also had a TV program on his hand. "At that time, everyone said: Sister Weifen, we will wait until your feet are well before coming back! I was still sitting in a chair, and I was in a hurry to go back to do the program; but when my legs broke again the second time, the TV station changed into a young and beautiful girl and stood up to report the news. Who would look for me?" She occasionally invited me to a notice, and everyone's questions were: I haven't seen it for a long time! The OS in Xia Funxin is: I used to be a host!
"I probably have encountered too many things. If I don't look at it as a joke, what will happen to the life?" Xia Weifen said, "I think life is sometimes blessed. Although the car let me leave the light curtain, it looks like it's actually a time to withdraw. The two years I didn't have to go on TV, everyone They are all famous (laughs), which also gives me more time to do what I want to do. ”
These things I want to do have formed a "rebellious list": including the husband's abandonment to arrange luxury travel, swimming, riding and painting that he never knows about learning, and the first one of the list is the "red light". "I really haven't seen any red lights! I've never been a child without saying anything or not, so I'm not sure what I say." This goal has not been achieved yet.
"I think I used to be the kind of person who is very fake and fake. I have always tried hard to maintain a perfect image. After getting married, I have to be a model couple. I think I must participate in the other person's life. If my husband doesn't accompany me to the party of the sauna, I will be angry and say, "Then I don't want to go to your event."
Ask her how to deal with her husband now? She laughed: "Why can't you feel bad when you see someone for 30 or 40 years? It would be great if the couple had a common interest, but it would be OK to be safe."
Now Xia Weifen and her husband will arrange a trip a year, but there are a few couples or families I know each other and go on a group trip together. Most of the time, everyone is active. The husband plays golf, and the wife goes to do a spa together, but occasionally there are two people together.
She believes that middle-aged couples can actually learn to adjust their relationships appropriately and tell them what they want. "Just like in the past 20 years, I didn't tell my husband until recently that I actually don't like fork-burning bags! I asked him: Did you forget how horrible we watched "Human Meat Fork-burning bags" before? He really didn't remember it."
In the past, Xia Weifen was still a person who liked to help everyone make decisions. "I will help my son and husband pick clothes, and then go to the restaurant. I will stipulate that everyone orders not to replicate the dishes, so that they can eat." Now she no longer encourages others, and also lets go. "In the past, we were accustomed to go back to our parents-in-law's house every time. Now if I don't want to go, I will confess that I won't go this week. But after there is no mandatory regulations, I will still go back for a while, that is, I really want to visit my mother-in-law."
How to live with the ideal old age? Find a list and work hard with this goalNow Xia Yifen’s life plan is: 1/3 of work, 1/3 of doing charity, and 1/3 of keeping it for yourself. She helped the charity group to host and raise funds, and the income was donated back to the hosting unit. "Although I'm not as much as before, I'm very satisfied with the harvest." Because her health makes her fall in love with sports, she now goes to the gym to do re-training and does TRX (suspense training). "When you go on a trip, you have no problem lifting your suitcase."
Interestingly, there is a list on Xia Weifen's mobile phone, writing "There are several old ones": there are Hong Lan, Liao Yuhui, Huang Yue …… and Yangyang Yang has more than 10 names. She wants to be as wise as Hong Lan and as against Liao Yuhui, hoping to have Huang Yue's grand and humorousness……"I think in fact, everyone can think of it. Is there anyone who makes you think: when you get old, you want to live like him? Then he can work hard for the goal."
"I think my upper half is telling others how to accumulate work and wealth, but the second half is Hu Zi, I hope to convey the courage and fun of life. "Xia Yifen said that many people share the connections they face in their lives with her now, and she can empathize with it. "Because I have experienced it, I really understand it."
"In fact, I am really not brave, but I have the courage to move forward even with my eyes. I laugh if I want to laugh, and cry if I want to cry!" In middle age, perhaps Xia Yifen has walked through the wind and rain, the current life scene.
Original text: Life also needs to be deployed ahead of time! Xia Weifen's 50s after-intellectual enlightenment: reunion is a luxury, separation is a common thing